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15 February 2024
Drawing from their years of expertise in personal finance, Farzana Botha, Communications Manager at Sanlam Risk and Savings, and Lee Hancox, Head of Channel and Segment Marketing at Sanlam, presents a guide to ‘relationship financial flags’, helping South Africans navigate the complexities of love’s financial dynamics this Valentine’s Day.
“Decoding the financial red, beige, and green flags in relationships can be the key to a financially healthy partnership – regardless of whether you are a newlywed couple, long-time partners, or navigating the dating scene. Identifying these flags is not merely about avoiding pitfalls but building a foundation of trust and open communication that empowers couples to be financially confident and secure,” says Botha.
Here, Botha and Hancox delve into ways South Africans can identify financial flags to help foster healthier and more transparent relationships.
Financial red flags are indicators that something may be amiss in your partner's financial habits or attitudes. These include hidden debts, excessive spending, incompatible financial goals, and an unwillingness to discuss money matters. Botha says recognising these red flags early on can prevent future financial conflict. She suggests that individuals learn how to address these issues head-on and work with a financial adviser to ensure a healthy financial foundation for their relationships.
Hancox adds, “Couples should try to identify red flags early on so they can engage in open, honest discussions and find solutions together. Whether creating a joint budget, setting shared financial goals, or consulting with a financial adviser, action is key to overcoming these challenges. Remember, a healthy financial relationship requires mutual understanding, trust, and a willingness to work together towards common objectives.”
Beige flags are those quirky financial habits or minor issues that aren't dealbreakers but warrant attention. Examples include a partner who splurges on Uber Eats instead of grocery shopping, a lack of interest in discussing financial planning, or lies about minor purchases. Botha says while these habits may not pose immediate threats to financial stability, they can indicate deeper financial attitudes or behaviours worth discussing to prevent potential conflicts down the road.
Botha says addressing beige flags involves honest communication about financial habits, goals, and expectations. “It's about recognising these subtle signs and understanding how they fit into the broader financial dynamics of the relationship. Discussing these issues early on allows couples to prevent beige flags from escalating into more significant issues.”
Commenting on how couples can proactively address and navigate the nuances of beige flags to prevent future conflicts, Sanam Naran, Counselling Psychologist and founder of Conscious Psychology, says, “Individuals could consider therapy to understand their triggers and feelings towards money so that they have enough self-awareness to know how this will show up in their relationship. It’s important to have constant communication around these topics, to know yourself and your partner’s unique mindset around money so that you can mitigate any issues that may come up in the future.”
On the flip side, green flags represent the positive indicators that suggest a strong and healthy financial partnership between individuals. These green flags are crucial for fostering a financially harmonious relationship, which is essential for the overall health and longevity of the partnership. Botha says nurturing these green flags can significantly contribute to a resilient and supportive relationship where both partners feel secure and aligned in their financial goals and practices.
Hancox says “Some green flags in a relationship include open and honest communication about finances, responsible spending, shared financial goals, agreed-upon budgets, understanding each other's financial perspectives, and valuing each other's thoughts about money. These indicators demonstrate a healthy approach to managing finances and reflect deeper trust, respect, and cooperation between partners.”
Naran says financial stress can strain any relationship, and it's crucial for couples to not only effectively spot financial warning signs but also try working towards reconciling these differences. She says couples looking to navigate financial stress should consider:
“I’d encourage South Africans to see a financial adviser together as a couple so they can navigate the planning process as a united front. This approach will also help them find a compromise concerning differing money personalities. Everyone has a different upbringing and view regarding money, and an impartial adviser can see both sides. This can help couples avoid non-serving habits and build on the good habits as a couple. As their relationship and love grows, their financial adviser will be there to assist them to adapt their strategies in line with their goals and needs,” says Hancox.
Naran adds that couples should try to nurture and grow their financial connection, “Knowing and valuing how your partner thinks about money is critical to finding financial balance. It's important to talk openly, figure out how to manage money together and separately, and be ready to adjust to changes in your financial situation.”
Botha concludes, “This Valentine's Day, take the opportunity to reflect on the financial dynamics of your relationship. Acknowledging and addressing financial red, beige, and green flags can lead to a more transparent and harmonious partnership. Remember, financial health is a continuous journey couples navigate together, one step at a time.”